Lovesongs in the United States

Two conceptual distinctions that have been helpful in elucidating U.S.-Chinese differences--individualism versus collectivism and independent versus interdependent concepts of self--shed light on the above quote. In a collectivistic society such as China romantic partners focus on maintaining cohesion and harmony of the group within which the partners are "embedded"; by contrast, in an individualistic society such as the United States, the partners focus on their personal preferences (e.g., Kim, 1994; Triandis. 1990. 1995). Conceptions of the self are also tied to notions of romantic love: In China, the self is seen as interdependent and includes within it the partner's needs and expectations. In the United States, where there is a more independent sense of self, there is greater emphasis on the individual's separateness from others and the promotion of personal goals Markus & Kitayama, 1991). Our claim that interdependence and independence apply to the experience of love as well as to the sense of self was foreshadowed by Markus and Kitayama.(1991): "If one perceives oneself as embedded within a larger context of which one is an interdependent part, it is likely that other objects or events are perceived in a similar way" (p. 246).
Both of the above distinctions suggest that romantic love is more "embedded" in China than the United States, and that love is more based on personal preferences in the United States than China. Yet, neither distinction has been focused on cultural differences in romantic love. Individualism-collectivism is primarily concerned with "cultural-level differences," involving institutions, symbol systems and behavioral systems (Kim, 1994; Schwartz, 1994; Triandis, 1994) and is less concerned with the study of romantic love. Independence versus interdependence is primarily concerned with individual-level differences, involving the self's emotions, motivations, and cognitions, and it too is not particularly concerned with romantic love Markus & Kitayama, 1991). We believe that the notions of embeddedness and personal preference help bridge the gap between the culture distinctions mentioned above and culture differences in romantic love.
Cross-cultural research clarifies ways in which the constructs of embeddedness and personal preference pertain to Chinese-U.S. differences in romantic love. Dion and Dion (1993) examined differences between U.S. college students of different cultural backgrounds in their endorsement of different styles of love. They found that students with Chinese backgrounds, as compared with those with European backgrounds, scored higher on a friendship style of love in which partners develop a close long-lasting relationship characterized by deep caring. Cho and Cross (1995) found that Chinese, as compared with U.S., persons were more likely to let their lover know of their commitment. Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) obtained similar findings and in addition found that the Euro-American students were more likely to endorse a style of love characterized by physical attraction and intense feelings ("eros"; see also Hsu, 1983). These findings point to a greater emphasis on broad aspects of the relationship entailing devotion (e.g., commitment, loyalty, and enduring friendship) among the Chinese, and to a greater emphasis on the lovers' intense desires in the United States.
Eastern philosophies clarify how embeddedness pertains to love. In the Buddhist tradition, romantic relationships are seen as developing in a context of multiple factors that determines the course of romantic love (Chang & Holt, 1991). Buddhist teaching stresses the importance of broad contextual conditions that underlie the progress and failure of romantic relationships (Goodwin & Tang, 1996). The main context determining outcomes of love is the natural world. In explaining romance in China, Chang and Holt (1991) observe that "nature sets the model for human beings to follow" (pp. 47 48) and "[Nature] paves the way for all things to occur" (p. 51). According to all of the above authors, there is no U.S. counterpart to this emphasis on the role of context in determining the outcome of love relationships. Indeed, in the United States, the emphasis is much more on individuals' personal control over outcomes, and their ability to work on relationships so as to overcome obstacles. In the United States, there is more of a sense that love conquers all (Chang & Holt, 1991).
Prior research and indigenous philosophies suggest that romantic love in China is seen as embedded--within the broader relationship and within the natural world. Interestingly, this notion of embeddedness is different from the notion typically emphasized by cross cultural investigators (e.g., Triandis, 1995), namely, the embeddedness of the individual within a cohesive group and within role-related obligations. Prior research also suggests that in the United States, more than China, love is linked to personal preference, and particularly to intense desire.
To assess the relevance of embeddedness and intense desire to Chinese-U.S. differences in romantic love, we examined lyrics from American and Chinese lovesongs. Prior studies have shown the value of song texts in elucidating the cultural differences in interpersonal relationships (Lomax Halifax, 1968; Rothbaum & …